Margaritas, meetings, Mothers & more

Hola, familia y amigos,

Today is my 124^th day in Chile. That’s a long time to be somewhere that isn’t your home, I suppose, but I still cannot believe how the time flies. Here we are in mid-May already, and the long-awaited visit of my mom and sister is a mere FOUR DAYS (!!!!) away now. I remember looking at my calendar in January, when I was struggling to understand anything anybody was saying to me, had no friends, and wasn’t sure I’d be all that happy here. Then, May seemed awfully far away! I know this is how life works, and I am constantly—as sad as it makes me to admit this—asking myself where the time went. Still, for the record, I felt I should note that I am once again trying to figure out this mystery.

I’ve been in Santiago now, without so much as a weekend trip, for a month. I think this is the longest time I’ve stayed in one place since I got here on January 8^th, and the travel bug has definitely been pestering me. I need to get out of the city, if only to breathe some purer air, so it makes me really happy that in no time at all I’ll be showing mom and Britt, in addition to the city, the charms of Valparaíso and the beauty of the area around Santiago. The week after they leave, I’ll be heading to the desert north for a week, which I am beyond excited to do. Machu Picchu is still TBD, but I’ve also been thinking about a weekend trip to hang out with my friend Yolanda’s family in Osorno (south of here), or perhaps to eat some meat and ride some horses (ha!) in Mendoza, Argentina, a cheap, relaxing city just across the border. We’ll see! It has been a good exercise to stay in one place, though, and try to be here when I’m here and enjoy the rhythm of life in Santiago. Nevertheless, time is ticking. It will be June soon. And there’s sooo much more to see. I know I’ll never see it all in this particular life phase, but I’ll be back. Absolutely.

Anyway, I should have said this right away, but I want to wish all of you beautiful mothers a Happy (Belated) Mother’s Day! This past Sunday, we also celebrated the holiday here, and it was a really relaxing day. I went to Mass with Gladys in the morning, something that doesn’t happen all that often because I’m either out of town or I go to Mass in the evening on Sunday because I was out too late the night before. I bought Gladys some pretty flowers, which I think she liked. We then had lunch together, which was prepared by my host cousin and sister—home-made pizzas! Yummy! We also enjoyed some wine and a mil hojas cake (absolutely delicious—alternating layers of manjar, which is like carmel, and these yummy, flaky “sheets” of pastry). Afterwards, we rented some movies and I bought us some ice cream, so we passed the afternoon, all of us girls together, in Gladys' room, eating and doing absolutely nothing but relaxing. This is what she wanted, as she’s always bustling about, so I was happy to see her content.

Gladys and I had a really good talk a few days ago, actually. She periodically asks me to be really frank with her about how I’m doing, especially how I’m doing in terms of my familial situation here. So, when she asked me this time, I told her that I am pretty content and do feel quite at home here (her main goal is this), but I asked her how she thinks I’ve integrated myself into the family. I explained that I’m busy and have such a short time here to enjoy all that there is to enjoy, but I wonder sometimes if I’m being a bad “host daughter” because I’m not around for tons of meals, etc. She told me that she understands and that this is the case with all international students. I just want to make sure I’m striking the balance between being a “family” member and being an independent student/traveler/young adult, and she assured me that despite my worries I’m doing OK. Then, she said she’s noticed a lot of changes in me since I arrived and that they’re all “for the better.” She thinks I’ve gotten a lot more independent, confident, and smarter in terms of daily life in Santiago, and she says I’ve relaxed quite a bit (ha), and that I’ve integrated myself really well into the family and the community.

A few days before our conversation, I was having lunch with Gladys; it was just the two of us, and she seemed really unhappy. We were talking and everything, but something was off. So, I asked her if she was OK. She immediately responded that she was fine and asked why I thought something was wrong, so I explained to her that her face looked sad, that she seemed like she was thinking hard about something, and that her spirit was just not the same. She said she’d been arguing with Carolina recently and was really affected by it, and we had a short conversation about it. I’d more or less forgotten that moment until she told me, during this conversation, that it had meant a lot to her. “You’re perceptive,” she said, “and you’ve obviously taken time to get to know me, like we’ve gotten to know you, if you could notice that something was wrong that day at lunch.” She said it was really special that I was able to pick up on that and that I asked her about it. Hearing all of this from her was really a compliment because Gladys always says what she means, so I know she’s being sincere, and because she can be difficult to read, so it’s nice to know that she does in fact like me and that she does think I’m doing OK here.

Speaking of family, I spent last Sunday at Esteban’s celebrating his dad’s 58^th birthday, which was tons of fun. I already knew his mom is perhaps the sweetest lady in the entire world, but now I know that his dad is pretty hilarious. I helped (to the best of my ability) prepare lunch with his family, while we rocked out to some traditional music, which was really cool. The theme of the day was Mexican Fiesta, so we had tequila margaritas, Corona, burritos, chips and home-made guacamole, and, though this doesn’t go with the theme, a delicious home-made apple strudel. It was SO yummy, and it was a lot of fun having lunch with his family (also in attendance were his brother Nico’s adorably sweet girlfriend, Cami, and one of Esteban’s cousins, who was rather entertaining). After lunch, we relaxed awhile before someone decided it was time to play some Poker. Now, although I’m not the greatest at Poker, I do have a soft spot for Texas Hold ‘Em, and it’s been a looooong time since I’ve played, so I was kind of eager to buy in. I ended up playing for HOURS with Nico, Cami, Mr. Salinas, and the cousin (whose name I just cannot remember) while we chatted and drank Piscolas. Esteban actually left for three hours to go to a soccer game, and I stayed there and kept playing, which is pretty hilarious. It was a really nice, chill day.

The Friday of that same weekend was spent hanging out with Lizzie and Yolanda at Yoli’s apartment. Because of the holiday, everything was closed, but Yoli, Liz, and I bought some wine and Chinese food and watched a movie—until we all fell asleep! The night ended early, but it was still cool to have a “girls’ night.” I absolutely love Yolanda, and it’s crazy how close we’ve become. It’s really a beautiful thing that we as humans, despite certain barriers, can form such real relationships in such short time. Yoli and I have volleyball together three times a week, and before practice we’ve begun running for a half hour or so on the track nearby, as she asked me to help her like running—haha. We usually see each other on Friday or Saturday night, too. This past weekend, I agreed to go to one of her friend’s parties with her, which turned out to be kind of strange, but nevertheless, it was still cool that she invited me. I’m getting less awkward (I think) at these all-Chilean functions, and I actually discussed politics with some guy at this particular party. Odd, yes. Probably more embarrassing than I realize, yes. But neat.

Now, in addition, we are meeting every Monday for lunch and “English practice.” Yolanda’s English is not terrible, but she wants to improve, and her classes aren’t helping her. She’s a Marketing major, and she doesn’t take classes that are straight-up courses about English; her Marketing class is, in fact, in English, but they don’t do grammar or vocabulary. Instead, they do reading comprehension, answer questions from a boring book, and listen to CDs with people talking about Marketing. Everything pertains to Marketing, so she’s getting a very limited vocabulary and is having trouble on quizzes and stuff because she doesn’t have all the foundations (like grammar!) necessary to answer questions about business ethics and shareholders and employee perks. Anyway, we’re meeting every week, and we just talk in English, which helps her. I’m trying to identify specific areas of trouble for her, so I actually have her read things to me and answer questions in the form of written and oral responses. We met yesterday, and I was able to figure out that one of her biggest problems is knowing when to use the infinitive form of a verb and when to make it a noun. Although I’m not a qualified ESL teacher, I’m going to try to figure out how to intelligently explain this to her in a way that actually makes sense. This is kind of fun for me because I’m a total nerd, but it’s also really challenging and humbling.

On Mondays, I also now meet with a new friend, Giordano. A fellow gringa, Brenna, has started a language exchange program. She was here last semester too, so she knows the University and its students a bit better, and she thought that something like this (which is done at several other schools) would benefit both Chileans studying English and the international students that she knew. So, it’s finally up and running, and I now meet for an hour each week with Giordano, who’s 19, studying to teach English, and is super-nice. His English is spectacular, and he’s really committed to improving. We hang out and talk in the designated language of that particular meeting (this week was Spanish), and it’s really not as awkward as it seems because he’s so awesome. I told him that Brittany was coming and that she is beautiful, and he was super-cute about it—and clearly eager to meet her. Hehe. Anyway, it’s a good addition to my life and my Mondays.

Other things are continuing as usual. Classes, aside from Marcelo’s poetry course, are boring. I have a five-page paper due today (it’s done—don’t worry!) for my Siglo de Oro class, and that has been the death of me for the whole week I’ve been working on it. The material is just terribly boring. Volleyball has been good, and we allllllmost won our game last week. I played decently, and we played SO much better as a team. We’re getting there, but it sure would be nice to get a win SOON! Also, the whole team keeps begging me to stay another semester to finish the season. In many ways, I’d love to do just that. But, it’s not possible—and they’re displeased with that answer, which makes me feel, again, like I’m actually part of something. I am really so glad I decided to play. I joined a gym, speaking of physical things, because, well, I had to. Volleyball is fun, but we spend so much time on technical things that there’s really no strength and conditioning component involved. I was running frequently outside, but the smog is making that difficult now, and it gets dark super-early, so it’s not safe to run around my neighborhood after about 6pm—a tough deadline for me. I was feeling unhappy with myself because that’s what happens when I don’t lift weights or run on a treadmill or stretch on a yoga mat for months, soooo I decided to suck it up and pay for a two-month gym membership. I got a good deal, and the owner of the gym was absolutely fascinated with me. He Google-Earthed Wisconsin while I was in his office and asked me all sorts of questions. He even told me that if I want a free pass to swim in the pool that is located in the gym across the street (which he also owns), I can email him anytime and he’ll let me do that. So, it turns out, this is a good situation. And I feel really good about it because, as it turns out, I miss the fitness center at Marquette more than I can say.

Things are looking up, ever-so-slightly, at Cerro Navia, where I actually spoke with some of the mothers last week and shared a few light laughs. I realize it’s unrealistic to expect grand results after hanging out with them for a few hours each week, but I really want to get going and get talking about real things. A Social Work student is doing her practicum there, and she seems committed to making sure something actually happens at her workshops each week. Last Wednesday, we made popsicle-stick picture frames, which really isn’t productive in any special way, but for the first time, the girls actually asked us questions, laughed with us instead of just at us, and seemed somewhat interested in getting to know us. I hope to know more about them, too. It’s a totally different service experience than anything I’ve done before because, well, it’s Chile. But I have more hope than I did before that it might turn out to be alright.

On Saturday, Jill returned from her week and a half vacation to Buenos Aires. I missed her so terribly, and I called her immediately to command her, despite her groggy state, to meet me at Pub 36.5, a bar that our good friend Ali recommended to us because a friend of hers, from her time in Chile, plays the guitar there almost every night. So, Lizzie, Jill, and I hung out there, listening to this cute guy playing the guitar (beautifully!), sipping a few beers, and talking about all sorts of things. It is wonderful to be surrounded by such great people, and I am so thankful for the gift of TIME here because it is allowing me to actually hang out with the people I love, something I really struggle with at Marquette (and something that makes me really sad!). Relationships are so important and so often I think they get put on the backburner because other stuff just “has to get done.” Every year, I recommit myself to my relationships and promise I’ll see more of my friends at school, despite our seemingly impossibly busy schedules. I never see them as much as I’d like to, and I’m always sorry about that because I have such beautiful friends. This coming year will be super-busy (I can’t even think about it at this point because it makes me so anxious!), but I am once again determined to enjoy the company of the fantastic people God has put in my life. It’ll be our last year, after all. (PS: Oh my gosh.) Also, Ali, I met him. I talked to him. He is wonderful, and he remembered you and was super-pumped to hear that you said hello. How freakin’ cool.

Well, everybody, that’s really all. This week I have another volleyball game, another Cerro Navia date, a few papers to do (what?!?!?!?), and, oh yeah, I’m expecting some guests on Saturday!! You’re all in my thoughts, and I miss you tons and tons and tons. My challenge for you all—and for myself—this week is this: let’s not let time get away from us so much, not let it totally run our lives. Breathe deeper. Walk slower. Take a few moments for yourself and your family and friends and just appreciate BEING in the presence of such beauty. Alright, I know I’m getting all whimsical, but seriously—take a time out this week. I’ll do the same, and it’ll be great.

Long-distance love,

Amanda